Serious vs. Whimsical

The title of this post came to me in a waking dream of conscious thought. Much to my dismay, however, the title did not serve to clarify the content to be created. Firstly, I was uncertain of the meaning of the word "whimsical," so, in a fit of whimsy, I sought to uncover its meaning in the Internet dictionary. Secondly, I was wholly unfamiliar with the word "serious," but chose to avoid any formal definitions of it. Thus, I will provide the definition of the word "whimsical" as it suits my purposes.

Whimsical: Whimsical (foaled 1903 at Raceland Stud in Kentucky) was an American thoroughbred filly racehorse. She was sired by the great stakes winner Orlando, out of the mare, Kismet, who was sired by United States Racing Hall of Fame stallion, Hindoo.

Thankfully, my capricious and somewhat light-hearted effort to produce a title for this post has resulted in a no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point topic. Namely, the age-old struggle between that with which we are unfamiliar and, of course, pre-Roaring Twenties-era American race horses. I will innumerate all of the nuances of this struggle here, in grave detail, though I am confident that most people are already quite familiar with them-- since it is an "age-old" battle and, therefore, has made an indelible mark on the popular culture.

The pre-Roaring Twenties-era American race horses or PRTEA Horsees (as they will henceforth be termed) have long been rich contributors to the American historical landscape. But at some point (no one knows when for sure) that with which we are unfamiliar began mounting a calculated, though perhaps ill-conceived, assault on the PRTEA Horsees. First, as most school children are taught in the early primary grades, that with which we are unfamiliar engaged in a series of character assassination attempts on the PRTEA Horsees. That with which we are unfamiliar would, on more than several occasions, make libelous statements about the PRTEA Horsees, and insist that they secretly worshipped such demi-gods as Herbert Hoover, Vishnu, and Duran Duran. These unprovoked (from the perspective of the PRTEA Horsees) assaults proved to be relentless, and, despite several decades of steadfast resilience, today the PRTEA Horsees have almost entirely become that with which we are unfamiliar.

For their part, however, that with which we are unfamiliar have always maintained that it was, in fact, the PRTEA Horsees who were the source of all provocation. That with which we are unfamiliar cites, as its primary piece of evidence, the PRTEA Horsees's use of early commercial radio to begin chipping away at that with which we are unfamiliar. A devastating claim, and current historical records do support it. The PRTEA Horsees are known to have developed a radio mini-series, or "radio mini", which was broadcast throughout the nation. The purpose of this "radio mini," claim the PRTEA Horsees, was to "serve the public well being by increasing the quantity of that with which we are familiar." After several weeks, logicians on the side of that with which we are unfamiliar, concluded that the PRTEA Horsees had allied with their mortal enemy, and the decision was made to "once and for all time destroy PRTEA Horsees."

The ultimate irony, historians today agree, is that that with which we are unfamiliar utilized the very same medium (radio) to wage its propaganda campaign against the PRTEA Horsees. That with which we are unfamiliar, having firmly placed its metaphorical foot on the metaphorical heart of America through the use of mass media, eventually gained nearly total metaphorical control. And today, despite almost a complete lack of resistance, it continues to fight for its cause with a relentless zeal.